6/25/09

I went to Sidilia's films. all day I was importing contacts from Mac address book to excel. It took all day but partially it was my fault.

**Fear**
While I was doing my work, I started doing some deep thinking. I have a fear of FEAR. I remember taking a test a while back and it stated that I am over analytical of people and I am scared. This is true because I am scared of failure to the point that I psych myself out of doing ideas. I would find reasons in why I wont complete an assignment and would beat myself up. I just don't want to invest my time in something that doesn't have a good outcome but I would never know until I tried it. I was discussing that with my homey/ np sister bernag09 and she referred me to this song Jasmine Sullivan-Fear. That song is on point and reflects my view on it! And one of my facebook James told me about "The Secret" book, good book to read. My new quote "Instead of hitting pause or eject on my life, I'll press play and go through stages and see what is expected and what I can unlock. "

*On my Grind*

Afterwards I went to an event called " Youth Development." It featured local hiphop artists. My manager wanted me there so I could look up potential ambassadors. She must have faith in me cause I want to "get on my networking grind in 09". At the show I was able to establish connects: one with a youth magazine, two with artists and one with a community organizer. The magazine distributor and I got into a deep deep convo, Hes a cool dude, like a male version of me. He is motivated, determined and strong willed. I needed that convo to get back on my grind.

**THE KING OF POP IS NO LONGER WITH US**

While i was on facebook, I received over 50 new posting signs talking about Michael Jackson, then I found out he died. My heart skipped a beat, I know everyone dies but his death came as a all of a sudden. the words MICHAEL JACKSON is a universal language, you can go to any part of the world and people know his name. His death impacted me because it shows when you live in misery and unhappiness for a long time, it affects your health! R.I.P Michael and I don't find you guility of molestation. There's more words I could say about him but mainly, his music made my happy and in my mind I felt like i could copy his moves, He would forever leave a footprint in peoples mind.